I dont want to forget....

Once again, I am at a loss for words. Haiti never ceases to amaze me. From the very first time I had heard of Haiti to what is now ‘everyday life.’ I wish so badly I could journal more often so I could remember each moment, and each conversation. I don’t ever want to forget any of this. I don’t want to forget how the Lord reveals himself daily; I don’t want to forget conversations that I have with the children, or the staff. I want to live in every moment and embrace them as they come. The last couple of days have been full of amazing conversations with the kids. I swear they teach me more than I could ever teach them…
A couple of evenings ago one of our neighbors began playing his voodoo drums, yes voodoo is real, and it is here. I heard the drums and asked one of the girls what that noise was. She responded ‘Bekah, that’s voodoo!’ She then continued to give me a history lesson on voodoo. She said when voodoo comes you do this, she turned the bottom portion of her shirt inside out and held it up, I asked why, she said because then she can’t come to you…Obviously this is a voodoo tradition of how you avoid being ‘overtaken’. She said sometimes at night she wakes up afraid when she hears the drums but then she prays and is okay to go back to sleep. She continued her history lesson and told me BUT, if you have Jesus, she can’t come to you! Do you love Jesus Bekah? I said yes, I do! She said then you don’t have to worry about it! This is why we’re here, these kids know the power that is bigger than voodoo, and they claim it with everything that they are! That, to me, is inspiring. The thought of voodoo freaks me out and I forget that I have the power that is greater than that, living in me, but I was reminded by an eight year old girl, that I should not be afraid.
Tuesday evening I was swinging with one of the older boys. I told him I would be leaving in the morning to head to Grand Goave to spend some time with the kids there. He asked me if I liked Jacmel or Grand Goave better, I explained I really love them both; they are just two very different places. He continues to say; well this is the best orphanage in Haiti. I wouldn’t ever want to go anywhere else. That was a bittersweet moment for me. I am so thankful that each of these children are blessed beyond belief to have a home and loving family, but my heart also ached to have a child recognize that he lived in an orphanage. He told me about his siblings, two of which live with us, another that is with his mom, and one that had passed away not long after he was born. He asked me about my siblings, he knows that Cameron is my brother, last April he met my brother Mark as well. He asked why Mark wasn’t here, I told him that he is married with kids of his own, he asked about Mike and why he had never met him, hahah guess what Mike, it’s your turn to come to Haiti :o) He asked about their families. I explained that Mike was married with three kids, Mark was married with two kids, and neither Cameron nor I were married nor did we have children. He then said well, you are going to have one kid and Cameron isn’t going to have any. It took me a second to figure out his logic, hahah but Mike has 3, Mark has 2, Rebekah 1, and Cameron none. Kids crack me up sometimes.
It’s the simple moments like that, sitting on a swing set or standing on a staircase, having children share their knowledge, hopes, fears, and dreams with you; that I don’t ever want to forget.
Early Tuesday morning the Suttons and I were out the door by 5 am once again to head to Grand Goave and our way out of Jacmel I saw a woman who was carrying a jug of water on her head, this is not abnormal in Haiti, that is how you transport things. The unusual part was she was on crutches, with one leg. That was the essence of perseverance; my assumption is she lost a leg in the earthquake, since many people lost limbs during that time. She was an older woman, probably in her 50’s or 60’s. She had to have water, but she could not walk. She used all of the resources she had to get where she needed to go to obtain the means she needed to survive. I asked myself if I had would’ve had that same strength, or if I would’ve just given up… The people of Haiti are strong, you have to be to live here.
Someone asked last night if I liked Haiti…my answer, no. I love Haiti. You have to love Haiti to come here. Travis, Drex, Jo, and I were talking about Haiti and our first experiences here, the many angels we’ve seen, the large amounts of evil we’ve seen, how each day is full of the unexpected. The riots we’ve been through, the sickness that has come upon us, the chaos, and then the blessings, the fruit, the somber moments we wouldn’t change for the world. We all collectively decided that we wouldn’t trade even the ‘bad’ days for anything in the world…
Pray for the people of Haiti, that they will find the strength and power in Christ that Valencia has. Pray for those serving in Haiti, that we would remain protected, but also that we would remain prepared to claim the name of Christ whenever needed. Pray that the Lord would speak to you through those of us here and pray that you would be open to whatever way the Lord is calling you to serve.
Lastly, pray that we find a roommate for my house in Nashville, since I left only raising just enough to cover those expenses I am not quite sure how to come up with extra until we find another person. Haiti is a place that will stretch you spiritually, physically and emotionally. This week my faith is being stretched….
Thank you for allowing me to share this journey with you.
Much Love,
Bek

Is this my life?

At 24, almost 25 years old I never in my wildest dreams thought my life would be what it has turned out to be, I can’t even comprehend what the future holds, since I never saw any of this coming. You see, since I was young I had planned on marrying at 22 having kids by 25 and being a teacher. Hahaha,Whats that saying? We plan, God laughs. For some reason since my two older brothers had married when they were 22 and my mom was 22 I thought that was what my life should look like. I love kids so very much and for sure thought I would have some of my own by now. However, the Lords plan was different. Instead of being married and having children of my own, the Lord has given me 87 kids to care for! Not to say that I still don’t have the desire to be married and have children of my own, but for now this is how the Lord is filling this desire in my heart. He is teaching me patience, what true love, and what true religion look like. If life would have gone as I had hoped or dreamed I wouldn’t have so many of the experiences that I have today. I wouldn’t be living in Haiti, spending time with some of the most beautiful orphans, in the most gorgeous place I have ever been. I know that I made a conscious decision to move to Haiti, to work at an orphanage, yet, sometimes I forget the reality of each of these children’s’ situation. These kids whom I love as my own or as siblings are true orphans. They have lost their mother, father or both…I have to remind myself of this harsh reality often.

Today I was reminded of this reality when working with one of our younger boys, he was not listening very well and acting out in various ways so he was unable to participate in what the other kids were doing, we have to remember that kids, wherever they are, are kids . After a long process of him being upset that he couldn’t be with the other kids my brother and I decided to sit down with him and just try and talk to him. I felt the urge to just tell him he is loved, even if he is in ‘trouble’ we still love him. We held him while he cried, and said “I love you” or “Mwen Renmen Ou” repeatedly as we rocked back and forth. At that moment I began thinking of where he came from, this boy had lost his parents in the earthquake…I couldn’t imagine! I couldn’t imagine losing my parents period! To live through that tragic event and come out of it without parents is horrifying to me. There is a reason this boy was saved, maybe one day he is going to grow up and be a pastor, or a strong father… Whatever it is, he needs to know he is well loved now. Lord give me the strength to love without bounds….

As difficult as moments like that are, the reality is this is the life the Lord has put before me and I need to embrace them. I need to learn from them, I need to grow from them.
When I am not busy getting stuff together for the Family Room (our new sponsorship program, keep posted for more info ) I am spending time with our kids. Yesterday, Stacie and I took five of the older girls on a hike; we walked up the aqueduct behind our house towards the top of the mountain. This was quite the adventure, T-Bone our dog followed us, we shortly discovered he is a sissy-la-la, after another dog, which was very likely rabid ha, started barking at us he hid behind Stacie and I, putting us right in the middle of this near duel…Praise the Lord the dog eventually left. As we reached the waterfall area I was struck by the beauty of where I was, and once again asked, is this my life? Am I standing on a mountain overlooking palm trees out into the Caribbean Sea while goats and cows make sounds in the distance, with five of the most beautiful children I have ever seen? How did I become so blessed? I was reminded that I am His, I belong to my Creator who wants to share His creation with me…Lord help me to hear you in the silence, while embracing your beauty.

In the afternoon I played kickball with some of the boys, these boys are so talented, and are quick to teach me how to kick properly haha. How did I get so lucky? Is this my life? This afternoon Stacie and I took the older girls to jump-rope. I haven’t jump-roped so much since I was probably ten years old haha. Stac and I double-dutched and jumped at the same time, is there an age where you shouldn’t play jump rope game anymore? My answer? No way! I felt like a child again, care-free, enjoying life and being well-loved! Lord give me the faith of a child…..
In the evenings I have been going to the toddler home and visiting those children. Jessica, a young girl who has been here just over a year. She arrived here just before our trip in April 2010. She was extremely malnourished and small for her age, she could barely hold her head up from being so weak. Now, as soon as I walk into the room she runs up to me to be held. We sit in the rocking chair for a while and sing songs together. Today she said “I love you Bekah”. Is this my life? Lord help me to love like a child and run into your arms!

I always feel like these posts are scatter-brained. There are always a million things going on in my mind when I am trying to convey how I am feeling. So once again, I apologize. I have a lot of prayer requests this evening, so when you get a chance or if you think about us here in Haiti, I would appreciate some prayers on our behalf. Pray for the Holy Spirit to be revived in me and that I listen and hear his voice clearly. Pray for strength to know what to do when the kids are mis-behaving, but are simply acting out because of something in their past. Pray that I can love well. Pray for the kids here in Jacmel, we’ve made a doctor visit at least once a day, every day this week, nothing big, just a lot of ‘bugs’ going around. Pray for guidance in my life as well as the other staff here who are trying to determine what ministry with Hands and Feet looks like for them. Pray for our safety, I sometimes forget the reality that we are in Haiti. Pray for the Pierces (directors here) that they enjoy their time in Hawaii, as they just had a new grandbaby. Pray for teams that we have coming in throughout the summer. Pray that our hearts would remain pure and we would seek the Lord in everything that we do…..

Much love,
Scatter-brained Me,
Bek

Grand Goave

Yesterday morning I woke up at 4 am to get ready and head over the mountain with Angie and Andrew Sutton. They are going to be the missionaries at the site in Grand Goave, I needed to head to Grand Goave to meet the children, get some new pictures and hang out with them for a bit so I can truthfully update their sponsors on how they are doing. We were in the car and headed over the mountain by 5 am. We finally arrived in Grand Goave around 7am just in time for breakfast with the team that is here from Ohio. Once we arrived here I was immediately in awe, this place is much different than Jacmel, Grand Goave is definitely rural and the team home is surrounded by trees literally on the beach, if you walk out of the shacoon and take about 10 steps you will be in the water. This is where I will be working the next few days? Really? I wish everyone could understand how beautiful this place really is…Poor? Yes. Gorgeous? Even more so! I have said from the beginning that Haiti is a country of contrast, and that statement is validated every time I see a new place.

After we had breakfast Angie, Andrew, Drex and I headed up to the site where they will be building the homes for the 31 children who are currently living in the school at Mission of Hope. The site is not quite a mile up the road from where the kids go to school and church, and once again it is beautiful. As soon as we arrived Drex hooked up the generator to the water pump and within moment young children came down with their buckets to collect water. After they collected their water they placed the buckets on their heads just like many adult Haitians do to transport items, headed home, and immediately returned, empty handed to play! The girls taught me some hand games as well as some new dances. The boys played around with anything they could find. We staked out the temporary homes for the children as well as the missionaries! It is going to be a beautiful site. We are hoping to have the temporary homes finished by June 20th, we have A TON to do so pray we find the help needed to complete this project!

We also had a small earthquake yesterday afternoon, AHH. Jo and I had been talking about the Jan 12th quake early in the day and about 3 o’clock we heard ‘that sound’ and the ground had a good little shake, we both immediately stood up, grabbed our phones and headed toward the stairs, thankfully it stopped quickly. I thought I may have been loosing my mind since we were talking about the quake, but we looked it up and sure enough, there was a 3.5, not big, but no thank you! Pray we don’t have ANYMORE quakes.

This morning I woke up and headed to the school with Travis to meet the kids here, get some new pictures and have some information to update their sponsors. At first I was a little nervous; I didn’t realize how spoiled we are in Jacmel with the kids that speak English so well! These children are learning English but definitely not fluent, and with my baby kreyol, communication was difficult. But love knows no bounds! I saw a young boy playing some game with rocks on the wooden bench so I went and sat with him, communicating the best we could and he taught me to play ‘jacks’ with rocks! It was quite humorous if you ask me hahah. I then started interacting with the rest of the children and next thing you knew they were all coming up to me saying my name! Rebekah is a common name in Haiti so it is easy for the children to say :o). I got out some pens and paper and the children drew me pictures and showed me how to write their names, which aren’t so easy to pronounce haha. I spent about 5 hours with the children! At the end of the day I was sitting with Luckson and Sheevens showing them pictures and came across a picture of myself and Cameron and I told them that was my brother, Luckson then said “Mwen Se is with Jezi” (broken kreyol bare with me) Meaning, My sister is with Jesus…I tried not to tear up, which is common being here. Then he Sheevens said “Mwen Mama with Jezi to”….ughhh. Two of the cutest, happiest, children with literally nothing who I had played with all day just shared with me that their mom and sister were with Jesus. James 1:27 immediately came to mind.. Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this, to look after orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. This is why I am here, I have been given a heart for children and a passion for Haiti. I couldn’t ask to be anywhere else. Despite the NUMEROUS attacks from Satan already trying to cause conflict and discourage me. I KNOW I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be.

Pray for Hands and Feet as we are trying to grow as an organization to care for more children, with that, comes attacks. Pray for myself to stay encouraged, focused and reminded of why I am here, even if it is simply two little boys sharing their joy with me. Pray that Grand Goave finds the help they need to get these projects done, and these beautiful children a home.
Thanks for taking this journey with me…

I will post some GG pics as soon as I have some better internet...
Much Love,
Bek

Port-Au-Prince to Jacmel and everything in between...at least 36 hours worth.

The last few days have been interesting to say the least. After we picked Stacie up from the airport on Sunday we headed back to the PAP house and decided to go on a few more tours. We took her to the lookout we went to on Saturday. After we enjoyed the beauty of Port Au Prince once again, Michelle wanted to show us the Hotel Karibe, a Hotel where all of the "bourgeois" (rich) stay. As we are heading to the hotel we notice an excess amount of UN officers and Haitian police, at that moment she realized that the Presidents were most likely having their inaugural reception at the Karibe....she was right. We arrived at the hotel and everything was 'closed' and we were not going to be allowed in. However, just like in America "its not what you know, its who you know" Michelle had an 'appointment' there, called the person whom she had the 'appointment' with and gave the phone to one of the guards, next thing you knew four Americans in shorts, tanks and flip flops were among over 75 foreign dignitaries and music artist in their suits and ties....can you say out of place? We walked around a bit and were making a list of whom we thought would be there...Clinton, Aristide (former dictator of Haiti), Bush Sr., Wyclef....so on. At that moment I thought I saw Wyclef so Michelle asked a security guard if that was Wyclef, and He responded 'No, he is over there, do you want to meet him?" Next thing you knew we were chatting with Wyclef and he asked if we were Christian missionaries, we responded yes, he explained how his dad is a minister. Michelle then asked him if he had heard of Audio Adrenaline, since they founded Hands and Feet, he said he had heard of them but he was more into Petra, and began singing to us! It was quite an interesting moment, one I will never forget for sure. Not that he was Wyclef, living in Nashville you get used to seeing music artist all over, but the fact that we were in Haiti at the inauguration ball, and that he sang Petra lol. After leaving the Karibe, because we did not want to overstay our welcome we headed to the Pizza Garden to get dinner, again another place that made me feel like I was not in Haiti by any means, one of the most gorgeous restaurants I had ever been to, including within the states. While sitting there I was overwhelmed once again with the contrast of Haiti, literally down the road are people begging for food and digging through trash on the side of the streets, and orphans searching for a place to call home, while the 'rich' of Haiti dine out in nicer restaurants than we have, and swim in pools and hang out at resorts that I could probably never afford. Why the dichotomy? Even though I thoroughly enjoyed my time there and wouldn't have changed it for the world, it reminded me why I am here...for those down the street, "to feed them when the are hungry, give them something to drink when thirsty, and clothe the naked."

After our eventful evening we headed back to the PAP house where we saw fireworks from the presidential celebration, I hope and pray this is a good change for Haiti.

We woke up Sunday morning and met Franz who took us on our three hour drive over the mountain. I was wide awake the whole time. You would think I would be used to that drive and the scenery it offers by now, since I have taken the mountain trip over 10 times. But, I don't think I could ever get enough of that drive.

We pulled up our driveway right as the kids were getting home from church and I was greeted by Richneider and his ginormous smile, saying Bekah Bekah! Ahhh I am right where I am supposed to be! We unpacked and began to get settled. Stacie and I are sharing a room with the girls that are 8 and older. After unpacking we took the kids to the beach where we played volleyball with some of the street kids and swam in the spa temperature water...It was perfect.

I cant imagine being anywhere else at this point in my life. I am already being stretched in new ways and need to constantly be reminded that I am here following the example of Christ. Sometimes I dont feel like I am 'serving' because I enjoy it so much. I know I have only been here a few days, but it feels like home. I do have some prayer requests.... Pray that I will remain focused on why I am here, that I am serving our God who created me and each of these children, created these children to be loved well and felt like they were loved. Pray I will have the strength to get through each task every day, no matter how tired I am. Pray for my ears, I ended up with an ear infection right before leaving and got antibiotics, however, I still cant hear well and it is quite frustrating. I head to Grand Goave tomorrow to meet some more amazing kids, pray for safe travels and a safe time there.Pray that I make time for quite time. To be honest, my quite time is lacking, I need to be in the word, especially in this place. Pray that I will put on the armor of God and listen when He speaks, and I will do what He has called me to do, without any false motives. I want to serve the best I know how. I want to love well. I want to walk humbly with my God....

Micah 6:8 "He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Much Love,
Bek

Safe Arrival...

Its official, Cameron and I have been in Haiti for 24 hours. Yesterday morning we woke up after our short nap and left Trish & Dereks house at 3:45 am and headed to the airport with our 10 pieces of luggage. We arrived at the American Airlines ticket counter expecting to eat a large cost for all of our baggage, well that is not what happened. We gave them all of our bags and they said "well we will see what we can do for you" the one ticket agent asked the other one what is the best way to do this...and I said "I appreciate anything you guys can do" He said "you will appreciate me when I get back" he comes back having waived half of our baggage fees and upgraded us to first class FOR FREE! We have been to Haiti four times, and two of the four trips we have been upgraded to first class...how does that happen! We were sooo thankful! We arrived in Haiti at 7:15 yesterday morning and were greeted by "Big" outside of baggage claim, he is our Haitian friend who helps us with our bags every year! Then greeted by Michelle and Travis in the parking lot. I am so thankful for the new walkway and awning the airport has, it helps reduce a lot of the chaos. We greeted Travis, the engineer who helps WHEREVER he is needed whom we met in February, then said farewell, he was off to do another job. We headed to the house in PAP and we were greet by Matt, another intern at HAF who we met in February who I feel like I've known forever! We all hung out at the PAP house for a little bit then headed up to the baptist mission for lunch. This was a part of Haiti I had never seen before...it was gorgeous. It is at the top of the mountain overlooking PAP, beautiful homes, tin houses, tent cities, the ocean with boats and gorgeous trees with bright red flowers on them. It was the most beautiful site I had ever seen. There was a little breeze there not to hot, not to cold. It was perfect, it was a good reminder of when I fell in love with this place. We visited a 'zoo' which consisted of 1 monkey, about 15 bunnies, a couple of goats, chickens, and peacocks, they used to have a gator, but apparently it didnt make it. Then we went to the ONLY museum in the country, it is very 'culturally diverse' it had info on about 15 different countries...It had a section about Haitian voodoo - which was quite interesting...needless to say I learned ALOT yesterday. On the way back down the mountain Matt and I rode in the back of the truck and chatted about HAF and why we love Haiti and what ministry looks like for us, we both still have ALOT of unanswered questions, so I think I can speak for both us when I ask for prayer for guidance this summer. We finally made it back to the house and had a 'going-away' dinner for Matt with a couple of friends from the salvation army since he is heading back to the states to do some fundraising. Damon and Kara taught us how to play "Swiss Uno", it makes Uno fun :o). About 10pm we finally headed to bed, I was also reminded how difficult it is for me to sleep here :o/. We woke up this morning and are supposed to head to Jacmel today, however it is inauguration day in Haiti and the people are partying in the streets, they are happy though, so this is good. We will be picking Stacie up from the airport in a couple hours, spending the night here again and heading to Jacmel tomorrow. Thank you for your prayers, we could definitely use them anytime you think of us. We are excited to be here, and I am thankful for a place that feels like 'home'. Its only day two and I have learned alot and am soo ready for how the Lord will use us in the unpredictable place.

Here are some pics from our view in PAP :o)

-Much Love
Bek

The last few weeks....

I apologize in advance for not posting in a few weeks, but I am just preparing those of you who are actually reading, on how infrequently I will be posting . To be honest I have been on kind of an emotional rollercoaster these last few weeks. In addition to preparing to leave for Haiti for the summer I had to move around my house, find two new roommates, final projects and finals for the end of the semester, all while trying to pack for both California and Haiti and moving all of my stuff to our basement so Kelsey (the sweet girl who is renting my room for the summer) will have space to put her belongings. Whose bright idea was it to leave the day after finals? Ohhhh that’s right, mine. Haha. All of that to say, the last few weeks have been extremely bittersweet. I have enjoyed every moment with my friends in Nash as well as getting to know some new people. I really enjoyed my time in California with my family, my grandparents, aunt, cousin, brothers, sisters and nieces and nephews as well as getting to see a few of my dear friends. With all of that it was hard to not question why I am doing this… Why am I packing up everything, giving up things that are so important and comfortable to me to move to Haiti for three months? Yes, I have a return flight, and know I will be back in the states the beginning of August, however, these things that didn’t seem to matter to me, suddenly began to matter. Hot showers, my bed, air conditioning, texting/calling my friends whenever I feel like it, straight hair – things that sound absurd as I write them down – I suddenly began to worry about not having. Then I found myself frustrated with these feelings, I haven’t ever been ‘that girl’ who needed all of these things, or maybe I was and just didn’t realize it. I don’t want to be ‘that girl’. I don’t want to stress out over not having things that our culture says we should have, things that soooo many other places would look at and think I am rich. I know it sounds cliché but its reality and I know this, I have seen these things first hand…Lord take my selfish desires from me…

Now my brother and I are on a plane to Florida, I feel like we just did this. I am re-evaluating and reminding myself of why I am on this flight. Why am I going to Haiti? Specifically Hands and Feet? When I ask myself these questions I am brought back to a time nearly four years ago when I first heard about Hands and Feet through Air1 and I sent an email asking how I could go to Haiti because I felt like I needed to (see previous posts to read about that entire journey). I know without a doubt in my mind that the Lord placed Haiti on my heart and gave me a passion and desire to serve there, why he chose me? I have no idea, and I am humbled and overwhelmed that he did. I also know that he called me specifically to serve the children at the Hands and Feet Project. Children that myself and some of my dear friends and even family have built relationships with. To be honest I feel ill-equipped, I’m not good enough, I’m not strong enough, I’m not patient enough, I’m not ‘holy’ enough. In the name of Jesus Satan has no place in my mind, because I know these thoughts are not from the Lord! When has the Lord ever called us to be good enough, strong enough, or holy enough? Never… He asks us to take up our cross and follow him, to deny ourselves and commit to living a life following that of Jesus Christ.

I am so scatter-brained at the moment and just trying to put words to my emotions, but I guess I honestly don’t know what I feel right now. I am STOKED to be in Haiti with some of the most fun-loving kids I have ever met, with some of the most awesome people I have ever met. I am excited to nurture relationships with the staff there and be able to be in community with one another while we are living in this place. I am excited that my brother is going and we get to share this adventure together, I hope we can all rejoice together, weep together, sing praise together, and encourage one another. Lord help us stay in your word and be led by your Spirit.

I think it is necessary to pause and look back at the miracles that have taken place to allow us to go on this trip. About a month before I was supposed to leave for California we discovered we needed to find two roommates or Annie and I would have to move as well, this thought nearly gave me a stroke, how in the world was I going to move, not only the physical part of it, but the cost that comes with moving, here I am trying to raise enough money to just cover my costs while I am in Haiti and to think of adding anything on top of it…ha. Well literally two weeks before I left we filled both spots! Praise the Lord for Kendra and Leah! We had talked about sub-letting my room while I was gone so I wouldn’t have to raise those funds and the money could go to something beneficial to HAF, however, since we were looking for two roommates as it was sub-letting was out of the question, until the Lord stepped in that is J our dear friend Kelsey needed a place to stay just for a couple of months out of the summer before she travels to Uganda and she wasn’t going to have any furniture because her parents were moving it back home to Michigan. Well….what do you know, I had a furnished room available for the entire summer! She is only there two months, but those two months help dramatically! I love how the Lord works. Since I was unable to sell my car I was trying to figure out something to do with it for the summer so it wasn’t just parked. A couple of friends of mine were in need of a car since they were sharing one so we decided it would be perfect if the ‘rented’ mine for the summer, well unfortunately the car they had broke down about a week before I left, so now at least they have one J. Thanks Sarah and Vanessa for helping me out, and I am glad I could help you as well!! There are probably many more miracles that seemed like coincidences to me in the moment so as I remember I will share! Lord thank you for providing.

Many of you may wonder what I will be doing while I am hanging out in the Caribbean for three months. In addition to loving on some super kids, spending some time at the beach and enjoying the 100* weather with 90% humidity, I will be responsible for keeping the children’s sponsors updated through the new family room, which myself and the staff at HAF in Nashville have been working very hard on getting started these last couple of months! I am so excited about this program since my family has sponsored Barbara for the last year it will be good to know that other families who sponsor children will get updated pictures and stories more often! As soon as the new site is up I will let you know so you can log on and sponsor a child yourself J. I will be spending some time in Grand Goave (HAF’s other location) getting to know those children and updating their sponsors as well. I will also be the ‘group coordinator’ throughout the year teams, much like teams I have brought in, come in every week. I will be in contact with them prior to their arrival as well as orchestrating their jobs and activities while staying at HAF. I am excited to meet so many people this summer and help nurture their passion for Haiti and these children. Lord give me strength to do well at everything I do, and make sure that your witness is my priority in each action I take…

Well considering my brother and I left without having raised all of our funds we could still use your help, if you are interested in supporting us while we are gone please email me at rebekahpeoples@aol.com or click on the “how you can help” link to the right.

Pray for us as we travel, we are almost to Florida were we will spend tonight with our cousin as well as tomorrow and we fly out first thing Friday morning to Haiti. Pray for safe flights, safe airport exits as well as a safe journey over the mountain to Jacmel. Pray for our hearts, that they will remain pure and the Lord will continue to speak to us, that He will stretch us and grow us, and teach us to rely completely on Him outside of the comforts of our home. I love you all, I will do my best to update as often as possible, not sure how often that will be. Thank you for walking on this journey with me.

Much Love,

Bek

1 month from yesterday...

This thought that I am moving to Haiti has been in the forefront of my mind since I got home in February. However, it hasnt felt real, until this last week. Alot of 'finalizing' things have happened in the last 5 or so days. I put in my 'two-weeks' at work, bittersweet. I am excited that I made it official that I am leaving, but I am scared because it means I have to trust the Lord will provide when I get back...I was reminded at church yesterday that faith is NOT a one time decision, it is a continual process, well my faith and ability to trust is being stretched to the max. At church on Sunday our church 'sent-off' Zac, we all gathered around him and prayed for him and his upcoming journey, he leaves on the 17th. While we were praying for him I was overwhelmed with emotions, this journey that we will be taking is rapidly approaching, even though he is leaving about a month sooner than Cameron and I, it just made things real. If you are interested in following Zac and his journey or supporting him in anyway check out his blog : http://zacmarcengillhaiti.blogspot.com/
A couple of weeks ago at church I was feeling overwhelmed and alone with my emotions, I wanted words for what I was struggling with but I didn't have them (I still dont) so I went and spoke to this lady. She asked me what was wrong and I told her I felt alone and scared and overwhelmed by what I was getting myself into and I didnt know how to put words to what I was feeling, and she said "why?" My response was "I dont know" she asked me again, "why?" I wanted to scream, "I dont know" but rather I was silent for a good few minutes and realized I was frustrated because I felt like I didn't 'have it all together'. You see, I am a planner, I like to see how things are going to work out, and when I can't see the bigger picture it frustrates me. You would think by this point in my life I would get over it, God has NEVER allowed me to see the bigger picture from the beginning and it has ALWAYS turned out to be a bigger blessing than I could have ever expected. I guess that proves my humanness and despite the fact that I may act like I have it all together, if I am honest, I DONT. This lady hugged me and said "Rebekah, you are NOT big enough to de-rail Gods plans, and you don't have to have it all together before talking to someone about it." I felt like I was smacked in the face, but I was smacked in the face with THE TRUTH...wow how encouraging, I am NOT big enough to de-rail Gods plans, and He will use me DESPITE me...
I wish I had words to put to my emotions today, but the reality is I dont, and I am learning to be okay with that. I am finding myself being distracted by things that have never distracted me before, the reality of not sleeping in my own bed is beginning to set in, not having a hot shower, not being able to text or call my friends at any given moment...These are things I have never thought would be difficult to give up, but as this journey gets closer I am finding myself already missing these 'things' but when I look at the bigger picture, the joy those kids fill me with and serving exactly where I am supposed to be FAR outweighs the satisfaction I could ever receive from having disposable use of my cell phone or taking a hot shower. In a conversation with someone a couple of years ago about why mission trips give you this 'spirtual-high' it was explained to me that when we head out to particpate on a 'mission trip', wherever that may be, your backyard or across the world, we are as close to heaven on earth as we can possibly be. We are sacrificing 'our' lives and (hopefully) 'our' agenda for the kingdom of God. It is in these moments when we realize that this life is NOT about us, but rather loving God and loving others.That is what the rhythms of the kingdom look like, individuals dying to themselves and taking up their cross and following Christ. I am overwhelmed to think that the Lord is using me in this way, to deny myself of the 'comforts' of America and follow what I believe the Lord has laid before me. Its the moments when I sit down and think about the journey I am about to embark on that I feel ill-equipped and not good enough, a quote by St. Francis of Assisi comes to my: “If God can work through me, he can work through anyone.” My prayer is that I will do just that ALLOW GOD to WORK THROUGH ME, I must remove myself from the equation and trust that Gods plan is bigger than mine, and there is a reason He is using me...I hope this all makes sense, as I stated earlier I dont really have words to put to my emotions, but want to try and document how I am feeling leading up to May 12th, 2011.
All of that to say I would like to ask for prayer...Prayer for my spirit, that the attacks will stop, or rather that I will be able to withstand them, prayer that I will put on the armor of God DAILY, prayer for my emotional 'instability' at the moment, and prayer for the rest of the finances that I need. I leave the states in just under one month and am still in need of $2,500...if you are able to support me please dont hesitate to contact me, I will answer any questions you may have... rebekahpeoples@aol.com.

Thank you again for taking time to read my story

Much Love,
Rebekah